It's Love Actully!
by PlakieBoo
Summary: So this is my second fanfiction :) My first was mostly about Plake, but this one is going to be plake/bylan :3 When Blake bumps into Penn in London, will they re-light a flame or let it die?
1. Chapter 1

Blake Lively held tightly onto her husbands hand as they wondered through Central Park. She and Ryan loved walking around Central Park in the summer, watching children play while their parents gossiped to one another on the rusty benches.

Blake looked up at the clear summer sky, watching as a plane flew high in the deep blue sky.

'I understand.. No, It's fine.. Okay, Bye..'

Ryan sighed as he put his IPhone in his pocket. Blake knew something was wrong straight away.

'What happend?'

'They want me back in London on Thrusday for the movie..'

'Thrusday? That's in two days Ryan..'

Blake let go of Ryan's hand, folding her arms. Ryan was only back from London three days, and he already had to go?

'I'm so sorry, Blakie...'

Blake nodded slightly, staring at the ground. She hated when Ryan left, She felt unsafe and alone.

'Why dont you come with me?'

'What?'

'Come with me to London. We can rent an apartment somewhere. Camden mig..-'

'Ryan, Ryan!'

Blake giggled slightly at Ryan's enthusiam. She held onto his hand again, swinging it back and forward.

'Does that mean..?'

'Yes, I'm coming to London!'

Ryan grinned and wrapped his arms around his wife, hugging her warm body.

'London, Here we come!'

-xo-

Blake yawned loudly as she streched out her arms above her head. She was exhausted after the long flight.

'We will be arriving in Heathrow in around 20 minutes..'

Came a voice over the intercom loudly, making Blake jump in her seat. She looked out the small window, looking at the deep blue sea beneath her.

'Blakie?'

Blake turned in her seat to see her husband's eyes flickering open.

'Hey baby, your awake..'

Blake smiled, kissing Ryan's nose. Ryan grinned and leaned on Blake's shoulder, as she rubbed his head softly.

'We're nearly here..'

Ryan smiled as his lips pushed against Blake's. She laughed as she pulled away from his touch, looking out the window again. She couldnt wait to land in London!

'This trip is going to be amazing, Blake..'

'It is, isnt it?'

-xoxo-

'Here's the keys to the penthouse. Enjoy your stay Ms Lively..'

Blake smiled at the friendly girl behind the desk, as she took the keys from her hand.

'Thank you..'

Blake dragged her heavy suitcase across the marble floor. She pressed the elavator button and waited. Blake looked around the fancy lobby, admiring all the amazing painting that hung on the walls.

'She's just a girl and she's on fire!'

Blake quickly rumaged around her bag as her ringtone of 'Girl on fire' played loudly in the quiet lobby.

'Hello?'

'Hey babe, find the hotel okay?'

'Yes, it's amazing!'

'That's great! I'll be home around eight, so you can order room-service or something. I'm making a promise to you that I'll bring you out tomorrow..'

Blake smiled as she stepped into the large elavator. Ryan was always so sweet.

'You promise?'

'I promise. I have to run, love you..'

'Love you too...'

-xoxo-

Blake opened one eye as the sun shined through the large windows. She shielded her eyes from the bright light.

Blake pressed the power button on her phone to see it was 5:30pm. She had slept six and a half hours!

She slid down the couch to the remote, which lay on the floor, changing the chanel to a new's show. Blake noticed a menu. She licked her lips as she dialed the number for room service.

'Hi, can I order the 'London Pizza' with cheesy fries and just a glass of white wine..'

'Sure thing Miss, That will be ready in 30 minutes. See you then, bye..'

'Thanks..'

Blake smiled to herself. Maybe her diet can start tomorrow, right?

-xoxo-

Blake jumped slightly as there was a knock on the door.

'Room-service!'

Called the voice from outside the door. Blake hurried to the door, unlocking it.

'Hey, you can just leave it there...'

'Su-'

'Wait, Penn? Penn Badgley?'

Blake's eyes widen as she stared at the waiter.

_**So this chapter was a bit short but the next chapter will be extra long ;) . This chapter was mostly about Blake & Ryan but there's more Penn & Blake in the next chapter :) Would love if you guys could leave a comment/review as it would help me alot for the next chapters, thanks ! :) xo**_


	2. Badgley knows best

Penn looked up to see the beautiful blonde grinning at him. He couldnt help but wrap his arms around her, it had been so long since he had seen her!

'Blake! Hey!'

Blake giggled as Penn unwrapped his arms from around her body, smiling.

'I cant believe that of all places in the world, I would meet you in London..! This is crazy!'

Blake laughed. She still couldnt believe that she was standing in front of Penn, it had been so long!

'It is, isnt it? It's so good to see you though!'

Blake smiled, looking down at the ground.

'So, you work here?'

Blake looked down at Penn's outfit. He wore a suit, looking dapper as ever!

'Yeah, I'm in charge of entertainment here actully..'

'Wow, thats... gr-'

'Unexpected?'

'Erm...Yeah actully. I thought I would be hearing you on the radio promoting your sell-out tour or something not in some Hotel in London being a servant to me...'

Blake was right. Penn always wanted to be in the music industury. He planned on going to record label's in London straight after Gossip Girl finished, but as soon as he arrived in London he couldnt do it. Penn didnt like being the main act, he much perferred standing in the background, observing.

'So, I'm your servent now?'

'If you say so..'

Blake giggled as she stuffed her face with cheesy fries.

Penn laughed aswell, making Blake laugh even more. She always loved the cute giggle. It always made Blake smile.

'I dont usaully serve you, I came up here to welcome you to London..'

Blake frowned slightly, folding her ams.

'You welcome every guest?'

'Well.. Anyone who pays a big-ass amount of money we do..'

Blake giggled shaking her head.

Penn's phone vibrated loudly in his pocket.

'I hope that's your phone..'

Blake winked, sipping her drink.

Penn laughed before answering his phone.

'Okay, I'll be down now, Matt. Okay, thanks..'

'Your leaving me?'

Blake smiled.

'Unfourtunaly I am. See you around?'

'Of course, Penn...' Blake smiled and threw her ams around Penn, breathing in his scent. He smelled of vanilla, cigarette's and champagne.

'See you later...'

He smiled, pulling the cart out the door. Blake smiled and closed the door. She still couldnt believe she had come across Penn in London!

Blake licked her lips as she looked at her London Pizza. Steam came rushing in front of her, the smell of chicken and pepperoni filled the room.

'I'm home...'

Blake turned around to see Ryan standing behind her, his eyes looked red and puffy like he had been crying. Blake persumed he had to cry for the part in his movie so she smiled, wrapping her arms around him.

'Hey, your home early...'

Ryan nodded, brushing his lips across Blake's, he soon deepend the kiss, his tongue exploring her mouth.

Blake tried to get into it, but she couldnt. All she thought about was...Penn. How she wanted to talk to him more and catch up on the things they had missed in each others lives. Blake quickly pulled away from Ryan's lips, much to his disappointment.

'Everything okay?'

'Yeah erm... just erm... tired I think..I'm kind of tired..'

Blake was such a bad liar, she hoped Ryan wouldnt notice.

'Oh..'

Ryan said simply. Blake nodded silently, looking around the room. She tried to wonder why there was an awkward pause in the room. Was Ryan pissed she pulled away or something?

'Ryan... I'm sorry about pulling away from that kiss it's ju-'

'I need to take a shower...'

Ryan said, his fists clenched. Blake slowly toke a step back, frighten slightly. She knew Ryan would never hurt her, she knew he was in a bad mood so it was better to leave him alone for a while.

'Okay...'

Ryan nodded as he rumaged through his suitcase, searching for a towel.

'We're talking when you come out though, right?'

Ryan looked up at Blake, his face turning a pale colour.

'Maybe...'

With that, Ryan slammed the door to the bathroom.

Blake stood in silence for a moment until tears started to run down her face. She knew something was really wrong with Ryan. This is the first time Ryan has ever taken his anger out on Blake and it really scared her.

Blake scanned around the room, looking for a pen. She soon found one, lying on the floor. She picked it up and grabbed a piece of paper.

_Dear Ryan,_

_Going out for awhile. Text me when you read this. We need to talk. _

_I love you._

_-Blake._

Blake grabbed her purse as she heard Ryan turning on the shower. She slipped out the door, unnoticed.

-xoxo-

'I'll have another glass of that..'

Blake smiled to the waiter behind the bar, pointing to a Chardonnay bottle. Blake rarely drunk alcohol, only a few sips if she was having dinner sometimes or special occasions or when she was really pissed. So yeah, she was really pissed.

'Blake?'

Blake turned around to see Penn standing behind her, smilling.

'Hey Penny...'

Blake laughed at her own joke. Penn eyed her suspiciously, noticing the glass of Chardonnay in her hand.

'Have you been drinking, Blake?'

Penn let out a small laugh, sitting on the high chair next to Blake. It was funny to Penn that Blake was . Blake never toke a sip of alcohol when they were together, so it amused him to see her kind of drunk.

'Nooo!'

Blake shouted loudly, making some people turn around and give them disaproving looks.

Penn watched Blake take a few sip's of her wine, until she finally noticed him looking at her.

'What?'

Blake smiled, moving closer to Penn. She giggled softly as she sipped her Chardonnay again.

'I'm trying to figure out why your so pissed...'

Blake smiled up at Penn, as she lay her head on the bar counter. She pushed her index finger to Penn's lips.

'That's one secert I'll never tell, xoxo Gossip Girl..'

Penn smiled when he heard those words. He hadnt heard them in so long.

'Really though, Blake. What's wrong?'

Blake sat up, looking at Penn, sighing.

'Ryan is really annoyed with me for no reason..'

'What will I do, Penn? Just wait for him to calm down or go back up to the room and ask him what's up?'

Penn frowned as he thought of things to Blake to do.

'You should go up to him Blake, maybe he needs someone to talk to..'

Blake nodded and smiled at Penn.

'You always give the best advice Badgley..'

Blake smiled as she pulled Penn's head towards hers. Penn closed his eyes, inhaling Blake's fresh scent. He felt Blake's soft lips softly kiss his cheek, sending shivers down his back. He felt as if Blake's kiss was killing him slowly. Damn, he missed those lips on his.

'Thanks Badgley..'

Whispered Blake softly into Penn's ear. She smiled a cheeky smile, as she picked up her purse that lay on the counter. She stumbled as she walked towards the elavator door. Penn smirked as he waved her off. She blew him a kiss, laughing as she stepped into the elavator.

Blake smiled as she thought of the kiss she had given Penn. It wasnt a big deal, it just felt...perfect. Blake shook her head. She cant call a kiss on the cheek to her ex-boyfriend perfect when she was married, right?!

-xoxo-

'Ryan?'

Blake called loudly, rushing into the room. She noticed Ryan nearly straight away, laying on the sofa, nearly asleep.

'Ryan? Babe, wake up!'

Ryan slowly sat up, rubbing his eyes. He looked a mess. He hadnt taken a shower and it looked like he had been crying more. Blake sat down beside him as he held his face in his hands.

'Blake, I need to tell you something...'

Ryan held onto Blake's hand and looked into her worrried eyes.

**So this chapter is longer then the other one and hope you enjoyed it :) You will find out what happend with Ryan in the next chapter ;) Thanks for reading! :L xo**


	3. Revenge is sweet!

'I-I went to the doctors today, and I-I found that, there's something wrong wi-'

'Something wrong? Oh my god Ryan, are you sick or something?'

Blake's eyes filled with tears as a million things went through her mind. Is Ryan okay? Is he sick? Will her life ever be the same?

Ryan swallowed the lump in his throat. He wish he didnt have to tell Blake these words. But he had to.

'Erm.. The doctor said that... I cant reproduce Blake...'

'What? You mean... We cant have children?'

'Erm yeah...Blake, I'm so sorry...'

Blake felt her world crashing down on her. She felt sick in her stomach.

She stood up, rushing to the bathroom. Ryan tried to call her back, but he couldnt. No one could. Blake opened the door, locking it. Blake always expected and wanted children running around her home, while she made dinner in her kitchen, smiling at her children. But now that was gone. She could never have that anymore. Maybe she could adopt, but it wouldnt be the same.

'Blake? Let me in, babe...'

She did as she was asked, unlocking the door slowly to see her husband standing there. Blake wrapped her arms around him, as tears flowed down her cheeks.

'I'm so sorry, Ryan. I acted like a bitch running in here..'

Ryan smiled slightly, wiping the tears from Blake's eyes.

'We're going to get through this Blake, okay?'

'I know, I know. It's just... children are just what I've always wanted, Ryan. It would have been amazing to see a little Ryan junior running around the house..'

Blake felt sicker and sicker as she spoke. It still hadnt sunk in that she could never have children with Ryan.

'Blake, we can. So maybe you wont have to carry around a baby around for nine months, we can always adopt...'

'Yeah I guess...'

Blake tried to sound enthusiastic, but it was hard. Really hard.

'I love you, okay? And we're going to talk about this. Over dinner tomorrow night?'

Blake nodded, resting her head on Ryan's shoulder. They both held onto each other, until Ryan pulled away, kissing Blake's forehead.

'You coming to bed, babe?'

'Erm... No, uh no. I'm going to stay up for awhile...'

'Okay, night...'

Blake smiled slightly as Ryan kissed her cheek.

Blake walked back to the living room area, slowly making her way over to the couch. She felt her phone vibrating in the back pocket of her white skinny jeans.

'Hello?'

'Hello? Thats it, hello?'

Blake smiled at Penn's voice. He always knew how to make her smile.

'What are you doing now?'

'Just at home, how did your talk with Ryan g-'

'Where do you live?'

'Jesus Blake, should I be scared?'

Blake smiled slightly. 'Maybe. I just need someone to talk to..'

'Oh okay, sure! I'm coming to pick you up...'

'No, no Penn I'll come over there, you dont have to come all the way over here...'

'I know I dont have to, but I want to..'

Blake smiled again. Penn was always so sweet.

'I'll meet you in the lobby in 15 minutes?'

'Sure, see you soon..'

Blake sighed as she hung up, placing her phone on her lap. She let a tear fall from her eye, landing on her arm. She didnt even try to wip it away, they're was more to come. Lots more.

She covered her mouth as she sobbing violently, hoping Ryan couldnt hear her. She needed to let it all out though. Finding out you cant have children with the love of your life is one of the hardest thing's that you'll be told.

Blake wiped the tears from her eyes, sighing as she searched for the remote for the T.V.

She finally found it, turning it on. Blaked switched to a celebrity new's show. Blake never watched things like that, she thought they were full of rubbish. She stopped though, as she saw Penn's face appear on the screen.

**''Penn Badgley has caused controversy this week, after saying inappropriate words in a recent interview about his former girlfriend, Blake Lively.''**

**'' I learned early on that that stuff is never satisfying in the end,' he revealed. 'There's a reason the French call the moment of orgasm la petite mort, "the little death." No matter how good the moment was, the moment after is always revealing.''**

Blake gasped as she heard those words. Penn really said those words about her?

Her phone vibrated on her lap, making Blake jump slightly.

She saw it was a message from Penn.

**Heyy, downstairs, you coming? :) -Penn**

**okay...**

Blake usaully would have added smiley faces or something to the text, but she was so pissed off with Penn he didnt even derserve a text from Blake!

Blake thought if she should just stay in her room and ditch Penn or go to his place and teach him a lesson? Teaching him a lesson sound's good!

Blake picked up one of Ryan's jumpers and slipped out the door, quietly.

Blake planned her plan how to humilate Penn while she stepped into the elavator.

Revenge is sweet!


	4. I never knew it was that bad

Blake looked around for Penn as she sat down on the large cream couch in the the middle of the hotel's lobby. Blake felt nervous as she saw Penn walk through the large doors of the hotel. He was smiling at her as he walked towards her. Blake smiled fakely, waving enthusiastically. She tried to act like nothing happend, like she didnt hear the awful words Penn had said about her.

'Hey Blakie...!'

'Hey...'

Blake smiled as Penn wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. She felt like pushing him away and slapping him telling how him how much she hated him at this moment. But she wanted to act maturely, handle it like an adult.

'There's a coffee shop across the road, right?'

Um yeah, its still open. We ca-'

'Sit in there? You can cheer me up while we sip coffee...'

Blake smiled as stood up and made her way towards the door. She poked her head out to see rain falling from the night's sky. She pulled Ryan's jumper over her head and braced herself for the harsh weather that awaited her.

'Come on!'

Blake grabbed onto Penn's arm, as she raced across the quiet road, into the empty cafe.

'Can I get two coffee's Tom?'

Penn said loudly, sitting down at a table.

'Sure thing Penn..'

'You come here often?'

Blake asked, taking off Ryan's jumper.

'Sometimes, after work..'

Penn smiled. Blake smiled back, slightly feeling sorry for Penn. He was in London by himself. He didnt have any family here and not alot of friends.

'So, erm... I'm just going to get to the point..'

Blake said, as 'Tom' handed her coffee.

'What's up?'

Penn smiled, blowing on his coffee.

'I saw the interview...The interview you did about how I wasnt satisficing or something?'

Penn turned a bit paler as he heard the words come out of Blake's mouth. He had messed everything up.

He didnt respond for awhile, he sat there, thinking.

'I said those things 'cause I was pissed at you, I know I shouldnt have, but i did. I'm sorry...'

'Wait, you were pissed at me? Penn, that interview is like three weeks old..'

'So? God Blake, do you know how pissed I've been at you for four years?'

Blake shook her head and looked at Penn. What had she done?

'What are you talking about?'

'When you said that it wasnt working out four years ago and walked away. You were the only one who knew what I was going through and you walked away!'

Tears fell from Penn's eyes as he spoke. They wernt tears of sadness, more anger that has been building up for so long.

Blake opened her mouth, trying to think of words to say. But none came out. Penn had depression since he was around twenty. They got even worse in 2010, the time they broke up.

*Flashback*

'Fucking hell!'

'Hey.. easy on the language!'

Blake shouted from the kitchen. Penn always got stressed and worked up when he watched basketball games.

'But this team is shit! Cant even pass the ball..'

Penn shouted back. Blake heard a loud crashing sound coming from the living room. She rushed in to see Penn holding his wrist, blood flowing down his fingers onto the ground.

'Oh my god, what happend?'

Blake didnt need to hear Penn's answer. She saw her small glass table she kept in the living room, the top of it smashed into tiny pieces.

'G-get me ice..'

Penn managed to say, as he held his wrist. The pain showed all across his face.

Blake quickly grabbed some ice and wrapped it in a towel. She wondered why Penn had done this again. He did it before but it wasnt as bad and Blake had just laughed it off really.

'What the hell were you thinking?'

Blake shouted as she threw the wrapped ice on the sofa next to Penn.

'I-It's just my temper, okay? God, this hurts...'

Penn moaned as he closed his eyes, putting the ice on his fist.

'So what you me just to forget that you punched a table 'cause of a stupid basketball game? What if I forget to do something for you are you going to punch me too?!

Blake screamed, tears running down her face.

Penn looked up at Blake, disgusted by her words.

'You think I would ever hurt you Blake?! Do you?!'

Penn screamed back, standing up.

'Dont come near me!'

Blake shouted, as Penn stepped closer to her. He swallowed and sat back down.

Blake wiped the tears from her eyes, and swallowed hard.

'I-I'm done..'

She walked slowly towards the door, not wanting to turn back.

'What do you mean you're done?!'

Penn shouted, walking behind Blake as she opened the door. She saw Chase walking towards them, as she walked out into the hallway out side their apartment. Chase was suppose to be coming over watching the match with Penn.

'She's leaving me Chase! She cant do that to me man, she cant!'

Penn screamed, as Chase held Penn back. Penn breathed heavily as he watched his girlfriend walk into the elavator, knowing he was no longer her boyfriend.

'She's gone, man...'

Chase said, as he let go of Penn. Penn nodded slowly as reality sank in. He looked down at his sweatpants which had bloodstains on him. He wondered why he wasnt wearing a t-shirt.

'Help me, Chase..'

*end of flashback*

'I never know it was that bad..'

Blake sobbed, holding onto Penn's hand. He looked down as more tears came from his eyes. He finally looked up at Blake with sad eyes.

'I'm so sorry Blake. That I blamed you all this time for my depression. When I saw you in your room I regreted what I said in the interview, so I played it cool like nothing had happend, hoping you would'nt find out..'

Blake smiled slightly, wiping tears from her eyes.

'It's okay..'

Penn smiled and put his arms around Blake, holding her closly. She smiled as she hugged him. It felt weird hugging each other, but it kinda felt right in the moment.

Blake looked down at her Iphone to see it was 10:00 pm. She should get back to Ryan.

Blake stood up silently and pushed in her chair. She smiled at Penn as he picked up Ryan's jumper. She walked towards the door, looking out to see had it stopped raining. It hadnt. Blake walked out, just in her shorts and t-shirt, holding Ryan's jumper in her arm, not a care in the world. She didnt know when was the last time she felt happy, safe, loved or cared for. She grinned as she walked into the hotel, eagerly pressing the elavator button.

Blake finally arrived in her suite. She threw Ryan's wet jumper on the ground, not caring in the moment. She quietly walked into the bedroom, to see Ryan fast asleep. She smiled and changed into her comfy pyjamas.

'Hey babe..'

Blake smiled, as Ryan's eyes fluttered open. He smiled up at her, still sleepy.

'Hey baby..'

Ryan leaned over and kissed Blake's lips softly.

'You okay?'

'Why wouldnt I be?'

Blake laughed slightly.

Ryan nodded, kind of confused. Blake thought about it and then soon remembered something. She couldnt have children with Ryan. She told her self that she should forget it, but she knew it would always be in her mind. She felt sick that she had forgotten such a big thing.

'Oh..erm..'

'Goodnight..'

Ryan turned over on his side, ignoring Blake.

She derserved that. She felt sicker as she thought of how stupid she was. She had forgotten she couldnt have children. She could never get pregnant. **She could never have a child herself. She could never have a normal life again?**

Blake slowly drifted off to sleep, trying to forget her horrible thoughts.

_**So, this chapter was mostly about blake & penn but the next chapter will be more about blake & ryan :D Would love to hear what you think of my story, so please leave a review, thank youu!(: 3**_


	5. There's something really wrong

Blake woke up to the sound of movement coming from inside the living room. She yawned and turned to see an empty space beside her in the bed. Must be Ryan leaving for work.

She walked into the living room to see Ryan buttoning his shirt.

'Hey..'

Blake smiled slightly, walking towards Ryan.

'Morning...'

He smiled back, planting a soft kiss on her lips.

'We're still going out tonight, right?'

Blake asked, helping Ryan button up his shirt.

'Yeah. I'll be back around six, so maybe around seven?'

Blake nodded, kissing Ryan's lips.

'We need to go out, talk about what happend last night and everything...'

Ryan nodded, smiling slightly.

'I'll see you later baby, love you...'

'Love you too..'

Blake smiled, waving as Ryan closed the door behind him.

Blake sighed as she looked around the apartment, wondering what to do with herself. She soon noticed the balcony, maybe she could sit out there for a while.

Blake opened the door to the balcony, letting the cold air run through the apartment. She sat down on the seat, looking down at the quiet street. Blake all so noticed a small clock on the side of building. It was 7:00 am!

Blake jumped as there was a knock on the door, disturbing her thought. She thought it was Ryan, that he forgot something.

Blake opened the door, expecting to see her husband. But it wasnt Ryan. It was Penn.

'Hey Blake..'

Penn said quietly. He looked a mess. His newly cut short hair was messy, his face was a pale colour and his eyes were red, like he had been crying all night. Blake could smell the alcohol off him.

'What are you doing here?'

'I just wanted to see how you were..'

Penn said, running his hand nervously through his hair.

Blake shrugged.

'I'm fine...'

'That's good..'

Penn smiled. He held onto Blake's hand.

'That's all I ever wanted, for you to be happy..'

Blake stared at Penn's hand, feeling uncomfortable and confused. She couldnt keep being cool around Penn. He was the reason she couldnt sleep the last few nights, sometimes even crying herself to sleep.

'I remembered that day in 2011, it was the 5th of January. We had got back together, 'cause we loved each other. I had forgiven you for when you punched the glass, but I couldnt forgive you for what you did to me. I always tried to forget about it, but I didnt, and I cant. I told you I did when we were shooting Gossip Girl, but I really hated you. And when I saw you in London, I remembered everything. I kept getting these flashbacks and then I sooned remembered it was that day...'

Penn stood silent, his mouth open. He wished that day never existed, it was the worst day of his life.

*flashback*

'What do you mean you're going out?!'

Blake shouted, standing face-to-face with Penn.

'What I is mean is, I'm going out, okay?'

Penn roared, moving closer to Blake, their foreheads touching.

'You've gone out for six nights in a row! Just stay here for once with me, your girlfriend...'

'Are you telling me what to do?'

Penn snarled, through gritted teeth. Blake hated when he got angry, but she couldnt just stand back anymore, she was going to stand up for herself.

'I am Penn! Do you have any Problem with that?'

Blake shouted, a tear rushed down her cheek.

Penn grabbed Blake by the shoulders and pushed her up against the wall.

'Dont ever tell me to what to do, ever!'

Penn shouted, shaking Blake.

Blake stared at Penn as tears rushed down her face. She couldnt believe what had just happend.

'Take your hands off me Penn...'

Blake whispered quietly, as she swallowed hard.

Penn knew he shouldnt have done that, so he let go of Blake.

'I'm sorry Bl-'

'Don't talk to me or I will call the cops, Penn..!'

Blake shouted, as she walked towards the door. She opened it and slammed it loudly, leaving Penn alone. He looked down at his hands, the hands that had hurt the only one who he loved. The only one he trusted, who understood him, who loved him. And he had ruined it. Forever.

*End of Flashback*

'Blake, I a-'

Going to leave?'

Blake asked, as she wiped a tear from her eye.

'Um.. Yeah, I am..'

Penn nodded slowly, looking into Blake's sad eyes.

'I'm sorry, Blake..'

Penn turned around and walked slowly towards the elavator. He walked inside the elavator and closed his eyes, as tears flew down his face. He hit the side of the elavator hardly, in frustration. He couldnt believe he had did that to Blake in 2011, it had scared her. It scared him too.

-xoxo-

'You look gorgeous, babe..'

Ryan smiled, as Blake walked out of the bedroom wearing a red ankle-length Gucci dress, her makeup done to perfection. Her stunning blond hair was slightly waved, the way she loved to do it.

'Thanks sweetie..'

Blake smiled, kissing Ryan's cheek. Her red lipstick left a mark on his cheek, she laughed trying to wipe it off. She was in such a good mood, she had forgotten about the sitution with Penn earlier, she didnt need that drama in her life.

'I hope I'm not to dressed up..'

Blake said quietly, biting her lip.

Ryan shook his head, holding onto Blake's hand. Blake could tell that he was nervous, she wondered why. Was she making him nervous?

'D-dont worry, okay?'

Ryan smiled, opening the apartment door. Blake noticed him stutturing but thought nothing of it. Then, his hands slightly shook as he put the keys into his pocket. Blake was really worried about Ryan now.

'You okay Ryan?'

Blake asked, as her and Ryan stepped into the elavator.

'Yup..'

Ryan nodded, looking down at his feet.

Before Blake could say anything more, the elavator door opened. Their was a dozen flashes going off as Blake stepped out of the elavator, Ryan in front of her. The paprazzi must have followed Ryan back to the hotel and waited.

'Hey Blake, how are you?'

Said a paprazzi, in a thick London accent.

'I'm good...'

Blake smiled slightly, as she shielded her eyes from the flashes.

Other paprazzi shouted out questions but Blake blocked them out. They finally reached the italian restaurant called "Italian London".

'Table for two, under the name of Reynolds...'

Ryan told the waitress, who lead them to a table.

'Thanks...'

Ryan smiled up at the waitress, who handed them a menu.

Blake noticed Ryan's hand still shaking as he turned the page's in the menu. Blake placed her menu down on the table, sighing loudly.

'Something wrong?'

Ryan swallowed, noticing Blake's menu go down.

'Yeah, kinda. What's up? You've been acting weird since the apartment..'

Ryan breathed heavily as he heard Blake's words. He was hoping he never had to say these words. He couldnt, could he?

'Ryan, do you need some water? You've gone really pale. Or you can go outs-'

'Blake, there is something wrong. **There's something really wrong**..'

_**so this is chapter 5 :p I wanted to make this chapter wayyy longer but I'm doing that in chapter 6 instead :) I know I left you wondering whats wrong with Ryan but I've already started to write chapter 6 , so it will be up soon :L Thanks for reading! Please leave a review ! Thanksxx**_


	6. It's a 5050 chance

_**This chapter is for Maria, happy birthday ! Love you :) x**_

'Penn!'

a voice shouted behind Penn, making him turn around. He was cleaning some glasses behind the bar, trying to get his mind off things.

'Hey Steve, whats up?'

Penn said, as Steve rushed over to Penn. Steve worked at the front desk of the hotel.

'The band havent showed up...'

Penn frowned and looked down at his watch. The band usaully dont start till 9:00pm.

'It's only 7:30pm...'

'They were suppose to be here an hour ago to set up. I've tried calling but it just goes straight to voice-mail...'

'You've got to be kidding me! Everyone is expecting them!...'

Penn sighed, as he tried to think of bands local and cheap. Steve nodded, then smiled at Penn.

'Why dont you perform? I've heard you sing Penn and you're great...'

Steve smiled as he handed a glass to Penn to clean.

'I dont know man...'

Penn shook his head slightly as he put away some glasses.

'Come on... Just this once?'

'Okay...'

Penn smiled at Steve, as a rush of excitment and nerve's rushed through his body.

'Thanks man, means alot. You have to be up on stage at 9:00 pm. And you know where the instruments are...'

Steve smiled.

'Yeah, okay. Sounds good...'

-xoxo-

'Just tell me what's wrong Ryan...'

Blake said sternly, looking into Ryan's eyes. He stayed silent for a minute until he looked up with a slight smile on his face.

'What's wrong? That I might have a bunch of kids running around my house..'

Ryan grinned, sipping his wine.

Blake smiled slightly then frowned.

'W-what are you talking about?'

'I'm talking about how we might be able to have kids again, Blake..'

Ryan smiled, holding onto Blake's hand.

Blake gasped then let out a scream of happiness.

'Oh my god!'

Blake cried, standing up. Ryan stood up to and gave his wife a big hug. People looked at the couple, confused.

'How? How did this happen?'

Blake grinned, as Ryan gave her cheek a kiss. She was so overjoyed and shocked, she felt tears starting to form in her eyes, wiping her eyes quickly.

'I went back to the doctor and he said a doctor just down the road has come across cases like mine. But it's mean I'll have to have an operation...'

Ryan said, a bit more serious. Blake nodded, then grinned.

'It mean's we'll have children though, right?'

'Blake, this doctor has down this operation on ten men. Only five of them could actully have kids at the end of it...'

Ryan picked up Blake's face in his hands, as he saw her smile fade quickly away from her face.

'So...It's a 50/50 chance...'

Blake sighed quietly, and folded her arms.

'Yes, Blake it is. But I'm going to be a lucky one, okay?'

Ryan smiled, putting his hands on Blake's waist. She smiled, giving Ryan another hug.

'I have to give the doctor my answer tomorrow. So, should I say yes?'

Ryan smiled. Blake nodded and grinned.

'Yeah...'

Blake kissed Ryan's lips as wrapped her arms around his neck. She frowned as she pulled away from him.

'You made such a big deal out of it though! Why were you so nervous?'

Blake smiled. She swayed gently as she still had her arms wrapped around Ryan, swaying to the italian music playing softly in the background.

'I was nervous of what you would think..'

Ryan smiled slightly.

Blake laughed had how caring Ryan was, and gave him another kiss on the lips.

'Erm... Sorry, are you ready to order?'

'Oh, erm yeah, sorry...'

Blake frowned as she sat down again. She forgot she was in a restaurent. The waitress smiled as she wrote down stuff down on her note-pad.

'We'll just have a large cheese and spicy chicken pizza between us..'

Ryan smiled up at the waitress, handing her the menu's.

'Sure, thanks..'

The woman walked away, leaving Blake to admire her wonderful husband.

'I've never had a guy know what I wanted in before..'

Ryan grinned, and gently picked up Blake's hand and his glass of wine. He kissed her hand gently and raised his glass of wine.

'Cheers!'

-xoxo-

Penn strummed on his guitar, humming the song he had played over in his head all night. He was nervous and excited at the same time to be performing infront of thirty people. It wasnt the biggest crowd he had performed too, that was a long time ago now it seemed. The last time he performed was about seven months ago.

Penn quickly looked out into the crowd, from the tiny spot where he hid backstage. He soon spotted a beautiful blond, just about to sit at the bar with someone. Shit, It was Blake.

He got even more nervous as he saw Blake, sitting there laughing with her husband. He wished that was him. Penn shook his head, and searched in his pockets for the pills. The special pills. He hated taking them but knew he had to, the doctor told him he had to or else, to be honest Penn would be... fucked.

'Everyone, please put your hands together for tonight's entertainment, Penn Badgley!'

-xoxo-

''Everone, please put your hands together for tonight's entertainment, Penn Badgley!'

Blake's body froze as she those two words. Penn. Badgley.

She looked at Ryan who didnt seem to remember Penn, and clapped as he sipped some beer. She clapped softly as she looked around the bar, nervously and awkwardly. Why did she and Ryan decide to come back to the hotel and go to the bar anyway?

'Um... Hi, I'm Penn. And I'm going to sing 'All I want..' By Kodaline. Hope you enjoy it...'

Penn smiled at the crowd, speaking into the microphone. Blake smiled sadly as Penn strummed his guitar softly. She kind of felt sorry for him.

'You okay?'

'Yeah, fine..'

Blake smiled slightly back as Ryan, as she downed her glass of lemonade.

'All I want is nothing more, to hear you knocking at my door. 'Cause if I could see your face once more, I could die as a happy man I'm sure...'

Penn looked up from where the ground, to look at Blake. She gave a small wave and smile. She had this huge lump in her throat, she needed to get rid of it. She could believe she was going to cry over Penn. Penn Badgley, the guy she used to love, the guy who also hurt her so many times.

'when you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside. I lay in tears in bed all night,  
alone without you by my side...'

Penn was looking at Blake while he played, with big sad eyes. She tried to look away and try to forget about how the lyrics was effecting her.

'But If you loved me, why did you leave me? Take my body, take my body. All I want is, all I need is, to find somebody...'

'Erm.. Im going to go to the bathroom...'

Blake said to Ryan, as Penn continued to sing the song.

'Sure..'

Ryan smiled, sipping his bear again.

Blake smiled, as she took her purse and made her way towards the bathroom. Before she did, she turned around to face Penn.

'Cause you brought out the best of me, a part of me I'd never seen. You took my soul wiped it clean, our love was made for movie screens...'

Penn watched Blake as she quickly turned around, and left the bar. He continued to play, knowing how much the song effected Blake.

Blake rushed into the puplic bathrooms to find it empty. She looked at herself in the mirror, and covered her mouth as tears rushed down her face.

'Oh my god...'

Blake whispered quietly as she backed up against one of the bathroom stalls. She slowly moved her way down it, so she was sitting on the ground. She cried even more as she thought of how Penn must be feeling. She felt as if they had both ruined each others lives.

_**I promised there would be better news for Blake and Ryan and I think that was probably the best news :D You still have to find out if Ryan actully does have the operation, and does it actully help? It was a sad ending to Penn and Blake, but hopefully things will get better in the next chapter :) I wouold love if you could review this chapter, and tell me what you think of the story so far! Thanks x :) !  
**_


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